a is for awesome, b is for badass - c

Woah. What the hell is that?

It’s a capybara – basically, it’s a 4’ long aquatic guinea pig.

And that’s what it looks like?

Well, no. It doesn’t really look anything like that, I can’t draw. But that’s not their fault, they’re still awesome. They have webbed feet, and their name means “master of the grasses”.

I’ve always felt deeply connected to the more ungainly animals, probably because they’re so ungainly. They’re not graceful, and they’re never going to be one of the popular species because they’re not the fast and powerful ones, breaking all the records and eating antelope.

But they’re awesome in their own way – not flashy, but still awesome. Capybara can sleep underwater. And they’re gregarious, despite their humble (yet awesome) appearance. And did I mention they are master of the grasses? They saw that grass, they conquered it, they are its master.

I’ve never been able to work out why I like things to be different from the size they should be. Maybe it’s because I am a miniature human, but even a normal sized human would be a fool not to recognise how cool it would be to have a hippo the size of a small dog. So when you look at a guinea pig, you have to think, sure, it’s cool now – but imagine if it was 4’ long…

And unlike the miniature hippo, the huge guinea pig actually exists. With webbed feet.

Like woah, dude.