do you like pancakes?

If necessity is held to be the mother of invention, in many cases Britain can claim paternity. As a nation, Britain has been responsible for many of the discoveries that have shaped our lives. What indeed, would the world be like without the locomotive, the fire extinguisher or the pencil?

Also, the all day breakfast. This is a concept that allows the customer to purchase food that should never be eaten first thing in the morning, at other times of the day. Thus enabling the massive consumption of fat to reach a wider audience.

America has taken this idea and run with it. Not only have they established brunch - hangover food served with drinks - but you can get a goddamn waffle at any time of the day or night.

Hailing from a nation that judges a person extravagant for eating pancakes more than once a year (on the designated national day) this seems like a right old treat, and just the direction we should be moving in. So off I skip to the local diner, and throwing open the door, I announce:

I’d like the pancakes please. At 3 o’clock in the morning. Like a boss.

“Do you want bacon with that?”

Excuse me? Do I want bacon with that? Just hang on a second.            

Bacon is not an impulse buy. Had I wanted bacon I would have ordered it. I would have ordered it first, because it’s the largest part of the meal. It isn’t a garnish to throw at food willy-nilly. That kind of behaviour might work with parsley, but not with meat.

Round the clock pancake availability is all very well, but a line must be drawn. And it really needs to be before everyone starts serving french toast decorated with a leg of lamb. 

These are the cracks through which the madness creeps in.