an absolute shower

My shower has no auto pilot. The controls need constant re-calibration. This is because it operates an alternate freezing and scalding pattern, with the temperature oscillating wildly between the two.

My shower thinks it's a fan. A fan is the only thing that should oscillate*. If my shower was a fan it would be top of the range.

If it was a plane it would crash into a mountain.

As it is, it is just a shower that is not all that great... but we all feel like that sometimes.

*except ocelots, which invented it**

** editor's note - oscillating fans were not actually invented by ocelots, it's not even spelt the same